Weekend Cooking: An Excerpt From Never Hug a Nun

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I grew up in the 1960s and attended Catholic school, so of course I couldn't resist when I was offered an opportunity from TLC Book Tours to review Kevin Killeen's novel Never Hug a Nun, about a young boy from an Irish-Catholic family set in 1966.

The scenes set in his Catholic elementary school made me chuckle with recognition, and this paragraph from the school cafeteria brought me right back to my old school days in the basement cafeteria:

"At the bottom of the second flight of steps, the lock-step line broke as the commotion of the cafeteria and the smell of institutional food overtook them. Those who had money got in line by the steam trays. They glided their plastic trays- still warm from the dishwasher- along the steel rails, looking through the stained glass at the hot food and the Mothers' Club volunteers.  The volunteers served up fish rectangles, factory hamburgers made off site, super salty chicken noodle soup or, on Wednesday only, pepperoni pizza slices. Buying lunch was expensive. A good lunch cost nearly forty-five cents, or sixty cents if you wanted to throw in cheese popcorn, a pretzel stick or an Eskimo pie. Patrick and the others who brought bag lunches got in the milk line. He paid Mrs. Heimlich, the heavy-set cafeteria lady, four pennies for a carton of milk. Mrs. Heimlich shook her head as the pennies she would later have to count and take to the bank piled up."

As soon as I read about the "plastic trays still warm from the dishwasher",  I could feel the warmth of the tray in my hand. I was in the third grade all over again, in my plaid school jumper with a yellow Peter Pan collared blouse. What's too funny is that my sons attended the same Catholic school I did, and except for the price of the lunch, that paragraph could fit their experience as well.

I'm enjoying this sweet and funny book, and the cover is just too darn cute. (And I'm pretty sure the jacket the young boy is wearing is the same one my mother-in-law gave my younger son when he was in pre-school.)

I swear my son had this same jacket in pre-school

This is the second book about growing up Catholic that I have read recently, the first one being Joan Cusack Handler's more serious memoir Confessions of Joan the Tall about growing up in a 1950s Irish Catholic family. My review of that book is here, and you can enter to win a copy of the book in the comments section.

I grew up in a heavily Catholic community and as I was reading both books, all I could think was how appropriate these books would be as Christmas books for so many people I know. My review of Kevin's book will be posted on December 10th.

I'd love to hear any school lunch memories you have in the comments section below.

Confessions of Joan the Tall by Joan Cusack Handler

Confessions of Joan the Tall by Joan Cusack Handler
Published by CavanKerry Press ISBN 978-1-933880-33-4
Trade paperback, $21, 241 pages

You don't have to be Catholic to enjoy Joan Cusack Handler's memoir, Confessions of Joan the Tall, but you do get a deeper level of understanding if you are.

Handler, a poet, chooses to write her memoir in the voice of Joan as an almost twelve-year-old girl, and it took me awhile to get used to that. I don't normally enjoy books written in the voice of children, but that conceit works very well for the book.

Joan has an older sister Catherine, an older brother Sonny, and a younger brother Jerry. Sonny physically and emotionally torments his siblings, with Joan getting the worst treatment. This is not just sibling rivalry, Sonny is a serious, scary bully. (Handler has said in this interview on her blog that the only sibling who has read her book is her sister.)

She is also dealing with the fact that at the age of 11 1/2, she is close to six feet tall, and that makes her the subject of ridicule in school. Her mother tries to make up for this torment by buying Joan beautiful clothes to wear, and the descriptions of her clothes are so vivid, I could picture them clearly in my mind. Her mother tells Joan that the others are jealous that Joan can wear clothes like a model.

Joan's mother tended to be cold and withholding, and sometimes beat the children with a belt, which was probably not uncommon in households in the 1950s when Joan was growing up. She idolized her father, a devout Catholic, and Joan tried desperately to live up to his high expectations.

The conflict between who she was and who she aspired to be led to physical ailments. Joan had bladder problems and developed colitis. A particularly bad case of boils is graphically described and sounded so   painful, it nearly made me cry.

Anyone raised in a Catholic household and who attended Catholic school in the 1950s will be able to relate to Joan's upbringing. The nuns who taught were tough, strict and sometimes cruel. The nuns who showed Joan kindness made quite an impression on her, like the one who helped her after Joan wet her pants in the classroom.

Handler perfectly captures the angst of being twelve; the uncertainty, the need to please your parents, the desire to fit in with other students and have friends, to be just like everybody else. The funny thing is, no one ever was like everybody else. Reading it brought all those feelings right back to me.

The language here is so beautiful, it is quite apparent that Handler is a poet. It is written as if it were journal entries, most entries being just a page. You feel as is you are reading Joan's actual journal, although Handler said she did not keep a journal as a child.

As I said, if you grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school, you will get so much more out this emotional book. Joan's struggle to be a good Catholic will resonate with many, as will her desire to be a good daughter.

This book is one that will appeal to people who came of age in the 1950s (Catholics in particular), but teenagers today will also relate to Joan's story. Some of the feelings of adolescence will never change, and a teen who feels outside of the norm (and that would be most) will empathize with Handler's story.

The cover of the book is visually stunning, and the title, Confessions of Joan the Tall, evokes the stories we read about saints in Catholic elementary school. This book would make a terrific gift for someone who grew up Catholic in the 1950s.

rating 4 of 5

TLC Tours and Cavan Kerry Press are providing a copy of Confession of Joan the Tall to readers of this blog. You can enter in the comments section; be sure to leave your email address. The winner will be chosen on December 10th.

Thanks to TLC Tours for providing an opportunity to review this book. For other reviews of this book, visit the TLC website here.