Friday 5ive- June 10, 2022

Welcome to the Friday 5ive, a weekly-ish post featuring five things that caught my attention this week.

1) I went to my niece's baby shower last weekend, and it was so cute. She lives in a rural area surrounded by a lot of animals, so the woodland theme was perfect. The decorations were adorable, and everyone brought a book with a note inside written to the baby; I love that idea! One clever person really leaned into the book idea by bringing three Mo Willems books along with matching stuffed animals. The baby's bookcase is filled with all the classics- lucky baby.

2) My local New York Public Library branch, Webster Library, set up their Summer Reading Program. They have a colorful sign out front and a table set up with free books. It was great fun watching the kiddies' eyes light up as they chose their free book.

3) June is Pride Month, and we noticed that the Silvercup film studio across the East River from us in Queens had their usual red sign lit up in rainbow colors.

4) I finished watching the second season of Hacks on HBO. Jean Smart, who swept the awards season last year for her portrayal of Deborah Vance, a older female standup comic (think Joan Rivers), once again gave a fantastic performance. Deborah lost her job as the headliner at a Vegas casino and now has to figure out what to do next. She decides to tour the country with a revamped act, much different than her old one thanks to her partnership with a young female comedy writer she mentors. 

5) I read two very different books this week. The first one is a memoir, You'll Forget This Ever Happened, by Laura L. Engel. Laura was a senior in high school in 1967 when she became pregnant by her boyfriend. Her religious conservative parents are ashamed of her and send her away to a home for pregnant young women in New Orleans after her boyfriend refuses to marry her. Laura recounts her days at the home, where the young women sign away the rights to their babies, giving them up for adoption. We meet the other young women residing there, and Delli, a Black nurse who works in the nursery caring for the babies when they are born until they are adopted. Delli shows Laura kindness as they work together in the nursery. Laura wants to keep her baby and is devastated when her parents refuse to let her. It consumes her thoughts and life for a very long time. This is a heartbreaking story told with such clarity. You learn about a time not so long ago when young women had little agency over their lives. I highly recommend You'll Ever Forget This Happened. 

The other book is Cate Ray's Good Husbands. Three women each receive a letter from a young woman who says their husbands sexually assaulted her mother years ago and she is the product of that night. The women have to decide if they believe this woman or their own husbands. They work together to get at the truth. It's a thought-provoking psychological story that will have you asking yourself what would you do in their shoes. There is a shocking twist near the end that had me literally gasping. My full review is here.

Have a happy, safe week. I'm off to enjoy some sunshine.

A Theory of Everything Else- by Laura Pedersen

A Theory of Everything Else  by Laura Pedersen

Published by She Writes Press ISBN 9781631527371

Trade paperback, $16.95, 305 pages

One of the funniest books I ever read was Laura Pedersen's Buffalo Gal, about her growing up in 1970's Buffalo, NY.  I grew up a few hours away in the same time period, and there were so many events  and touchstones that I could relate to, especially her stories about lake effect snowstorms. (Now we both live on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. I would love to run into her on the street someday.)

Her newest effort is a book of essays, A Theory of Everything Else, that is both by turns hilarious and philosophical. There are four classes of essays- Quadipeds,  Bipeds, Estrogen-Americans, and Human Kind. 

Beginning with Quadipeds, we learn about Pedersen's love of all things dog.  She jokes about giving her dog a messy bone, and every time he will drag it on to the most expensive oriental rug to chew it on. If the dog is on a bathroom floor and starts heaving, it will immediately jump up on a bed or a "sofa covered in cream-colored silk brocade to vomit." Dog lovers will recognize many of her observations.

She has humorous human observations as well. She noted that today, when bridal parties are preparing their hair and makeup on the big day, it is now a celebration with mimosas being freely poured. Combine this with the dieting that these ladies did to fit into their dresses, and it could be a problem. At one friend's son's wedding, the maid-of-honor began to sway at the altar, and then the bride and bridesmaids each began to fall. Luckily an athletic coach-guest ran to his van, brought back Gatorade, and the ceremony continued on with the bridal party seated in chairs.

Pedersen shares more Buffalo stories, going into how the majestic churches there were built by the church members themselves. They'd go to their factory jobs during the day, went home, ate dinner, then went to build their community's church until ten at night. Her comparisons of the different religions to sports (Buddhism is badminton, Mormons are a marching band, Shakers would be cliff divers) is clever and funny.

I love her chapter on her OCD nurse mom, who once was able to prove (without hidden cameras) that her apartment manager was using her apartment as "love nest" when she was in Florida. Her retirement community apartment was so meticulously organized and maintained that she was able to get a rent reduction because they could use it a model when prospective residents wanted to view a furnished apartment.

As Pedersen gets older, she finds she is more like her parents. For example, when she was younger, her schedule was completely filled every day. Now, she will do only thing per day. If a friend asks her to dinner, and she has an 11 o'clock hair appointment and can't make dinner, her friend will reply "Call me when things calm down." (Oh dear, I think I can relate...)

The latter chapters turn more philosophical. As this is the beginning of Women's History Month, Pedersen delves into the struggle women have historically had to tell their stories, the problems facing women in comedy, and the importance of encouraging girls to study STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics).

In the Humankind section, Pedersen talks about the transformative power of art, trying to get home to NYC after 9/11, and how to find The Good Life.

I have always appreciated Laura Pedersen's ability to make to me laugh in her books, and in A Theory of Everything Else, I now also appreciate her ability to make me think about bigger issues. How can you not like a book that makes you laugh and think in equal measure? Laura Pedersen is a treasure. 

Two of the best books I've read this year

Reprinted from the Citizen:

If you’ve been nostalgic for the 1960s after hearing about the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing and the Woodstock concert, this month’s Book Report will bring you right back to that time with two of the best books I've read this summer.

The first book is a memoir by Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy about growing up with her eight siblings in her Catholic family in Iowa of the 1960s and 1970s. Her father’s favorite saying, Many Hands Make Light Work, is the title of this sweet family story. 

Joe Stritzel was a professor of agronomy at Iowa State University. He and his wife, Marcella, and their nine children lived in a big, rambling home near the campus. “Mom radiated calm as powerfully as Dad radiated action,” explains how a family of 11 managed to get through the days in an orderly fashion.

Joe began buying up homes in the neighborhood to fix up and rent to the ever-increasing number of young adults heading to college. He managed to accomplish that by an using inexpensive labor force: his nine children, whom he dubbed “the baseball team.”

While other kids were spending their summers at the lake or playground, the Stritzels were hard at work on the houses. The little ones pulled nails out of wood and stacked it; the older kids tore up carpets, torn down wallpaper and dragged out furniture left behind.

There are so many wonderful scenes in this charming book. The kids like to sing, and Joe thought they were good enough to be on "The Lawrence Welk Show." They had an assembly line going when it came to pick the numerous cherry trees in their backyard. And once, Cheryl babysat for a family that had a lion as a pet — who hung out in the living room with her. That was crazy!

They rarely took a vacation, but one year they all piled into the station wagon and drove from Iowa to Ohio to visit Joe’s family. Mom made sandwiches for the two-day ride, but the highlight was stopping at A&W to get 11 root beers (the little ones got baby root beer mugs) and as a special treat, 11 ice cream cones, all vanilla.

Many Hands Make Light Work will inspire nostalgia for a simpler time. It is a book filled with humor and joy and you’ll find yourself smiling the entire time you’re reading it.

Cara Wall’s debut novel, The Dearly Beloved, is set in the 1960s New York City. Two young ministers — Charles, the son of academics who are perplexed by his choice of career, and James, whose father came home from World War II a broken alcoholic — are hired to be pastors of the historic Third Presbyterian Church in Greenwich Village. 

Charles is a student of scripture and wants to tend to his parishoners’ spiritual needs. James finds that he is drawn to the social justice needs of the people living in the city. He sees poverty and neglect, and believes that the church should be addressing society’s larger problems.

Charles’ wife, Lily, is not religious. Her parents died when she was a teenager, and she lost her faith because of it. She was a good wife to Charles, but she had no interest in being a traditional pastor’s wife or being involved in the church in any way. As society was going through major upheaval in the 1960s, Lily became more involved in women’s issues.

James’ wife, Nan, came from a religious family. Her father was a popular minister and her mother was a traditional pastor’s wife, something that Nan did her best to emulate. Nan became very involved in the church, starting a youth choir, and sat in the front row each Sunday.

Nan wanted to be friends with Lily, but Lily wanted nothing to do with Nan. The other thing Nan wanted was to have children. Lily didn’t particularly care for children. When Lily became pregnant, it caused further friction.

The Dearly Beloved is a moving story about faith, family, friendship and love. Charles loved Lily and respected her choice not to be involved in the church. Nan respected her husband’s choice to be more socially relevant, but she encouraged him not to neglect his own parish.

Both couples are tested by personal challenges over the years, things that could tear apart a marriage and friendship. I found myself involved in their stories, and moved by their circumstances. Wall writes these characters so beautifully, you may not understand their choices, but you will care deeply what happens to them.

If you read

BOOK: Many Hands Make Light Work by Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy

GRADE: A+

PUBLISHER: She Writes Press

COST: Trade paperback, $16.95

LENGTH: 289 pages

---

BOOK: The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall

GRADE: A+

PUBLISHER: Simon & Schuster

COST: Hardcover, $26.99

LENGTH: 352 pages

Many Hands Make Light Work by Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy

This post is part of Beth Fish Reads' Weekend Cooking.  If you have anything related to food, cookbook reviews, novel or non-fiction book reviews, recipes, movie reviews, etc., head over to Beth Fish Reads and add your post. Or, if you want to read food related posts, head over to read what some interesting people have to say about food.

Many Hands Make Light Work by Cheryl Stritzel
Published by She Writes Press ISBN 9781631526282
Trade paperback, $16.95, 289 pages

After seeing all the news coverage of events from 1969, like Woodstock and the Apollo 11 moon landing, one can't help but be nostalgic for that time, and that makes it the perfect time to read Cheryl Stritzel's family memoir Many Hands Make Light Work.

Stritzel came of age in Iowa in the 1960s and 1970s, one of nine children born to Joe, an agronomy professor at the University of Iowa, and his wife Marcella. Joe saw that as more young people were going to college, more housing was needed. So they bought up several homes in the neighborhood and turned them onto student housing.

Joe and Marcella grew up during the Depression and their mentality was to do for themsleves. Therefore, the children all pitched in and helped rehab the homes. The youngest children, dubbed "the Littles" pulled nails and stacked wood, the older kids tore up carpets and tore down wallpaper. (One old house had 22 layers of wallpaper!) In the winter, they got up early and shoveled all the sidewalks of the homes before heading off to school.

Having nine children meant being thrifty. They had a commercial milk dispenser installed in their kitchen and bought milk in five-gallon metal cans. They grew green beans, green peppers, and varieties of lettuces in the garden of one home, huge plots of tomatoes in another home, and an entire yard was filled with sweet corn.

They had peach, pear, plum and apple trees. One the more memorable scenes was of the children undergoing preparation to pick the cherries from the fifteen foot Montmorence cherry trees that dominated their yard.

First Mom made plates of pancakes, topped with butter and honey (from their own hives of course), and a single slice of bacon. (The children grew up never realizing that you could have more than one slice of bacon for breakfast.) Then the Baseball team, as Dad called them, donned their equipment-  each had an old metal coffee can with a piece of twine at the top that allowed for the can to hang off their waist so they could use two hands to pick more efficiently. Singing "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning" from Oklahoma meant that work could begin.

Many Hands Make Light Work is such a delightful, warm-hearted book. The memories (eating Spudnuts donuts after church, Greg sitting at "the Toast Seat" during breakfast, stopping at the A&W restaurant for 11 root beers to go along with the packed sandwiches during a rare family vacation) will bring to mind your own family memories.

The craziest story involved Cheryl babysitting for a family. It should be an easy job- the only child, a baby, would be asleep, and Cheryl could watch TV and do her homework. But as the parents were leaving, they handed her a flyswatter and told her that if the lion acted up, just tap him on the nose. Yes, they had a lion. Not a baby lion, one that was more like a teenager. He slept in the chair in the living room, where Cheryl was to be. That scene was straight up nerve-wracking, but as I was reading it, I thought to myself, yeah, that kind of stuff happened back then.

I can't recommend Many Hands Make Light Work more highly. It brought me joy, made me laugh ,and and made me feel grateful for growing up in my own big Catholic family. If you grew up watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family, this is for you. I loved reading all about the Stritzels, and if you long for a good family story, pick up this book now. It's one of my favorite books of the year.

Thanks to She Writes Press for providing me a copy of this wonderful book for an honest review.

The Silver Shoes by Jill G. Hall

The Silver Shoes by Jill G. Hall
Published by She Writes Press 9781631523533
Trade paperback, $16.95, 336 pages

Jill G. Hall's novel, The Silver Shoes, tells the tale of two women connected to the titular shoes. Anne is an artist who lives in San Francisco but her boyfriend Sergio lives in New York City. On one of her visits to Sergio she visits a thrift store where she finds an amazing pair of silver shoes. They even fit her feet, which are on the large side. (Sergio affectionately calls her "Bigfoot".)

Anne wants Sergio to ask her to move in with him, or even better, to marry him. She would like to know that their relationship is moving forward, but Sergio never seems to want to have that discussion.

Anne works as a valet in San Francisco to make ends meet while she pursues her passion, her art creations. She has been getting a foothold in the art world in San Francisco having sold some of her pieces at a gallery, but she would like not to struggle so much financially.

In 1929, Clair lives with her long-widowed father at the Waldorf Hotel in New York City. Her mother died when Clair was just six, and her mother's sister June, a teacher and suffragette, has helped to raise her. (I loved Aunt June.)

At Clair's coming out debutante party, her father has declared that she will marry Farley, a man over ten years her senior whom she had not yet met. She disliked him immediately; he was a boring braggart who seemed to only care about money.

Clair meets the vivacious Winnie, a clerk at Macy's, and hiding it from her father, she accompanies Winnie to a speakeasy. At first frightened, Clair loosens up and begins to enjoy the music and dancing. Soon she is sneaking out more and more with Winnie, praying not to get caught by her father or the doorman at the Waldorf.

Everyday Clair passes a store window where she sighs over a pair of silver shoes, studded with rhinestones. How she would love those shoes- but her father would say that only floozies wear shoes like that.

Hall does a wonderful job telling both women's stories. Anne and Sergio's relationship seems very realistic, and she doesn't make Sergio the bad guy here, a guy who is afraid of commitment. I think many women will relate to Anne's situation.

Clair's story was a little more enlightening to me. You don't often think of women in the 1920's America being forced into an arranged marriage. And again, Clair's father could have been a one-dimensional character, but Hall gives him more shades than that.

I also enjoyed being immersed in 1920's New York City- the Waldorf, Macy's, the entertainment venues. I got a real feel for what it was like living at that time in the city where I now live.

Eventually, Clair and Annie are connected by the shoes, and I found that very satisfying. The ending to Clair and Annie's individual stories was more surprising to me, but they were both women who came into their own strength when they needed it most. I recommend The Silver Shoes, especially for those who enjoy books set in two different timelines.

Thanks to TLC Tours for putting me on Jill G. Hall's tour. The rest of her stops are here:

Monday, September 17th: BookNAround

Tuesday, September 18th: bookchickdi

Wednesday, September 19th: 100 Pages a Day…Stephanie’s Book Reviews

Thursday, September 20th: A Chick Who Reads

Monday, September 24th: A Bookish Way of Life

Tuesday, September 25th: Ms. Nose in a Book

Wednesday, September 26th: Wining Wife

Wednesday, September 26th: Books and Bindings

Monday, October 1st: Broken Teepee

Tuesday, October 2nd: I Wish I Lived in a Library

Wednesday, October 3rd: Reading Reality

Thursday, October 4th: Instagram: @writersdream

Friday, October 5th: Write – Read – Life

Friday, October 12th: Instagram: @the_need_to_read

To The Stars Through Difficulties by Romalyn Tilghman

To The Stars Through Difficulties by Roamlyn Tilghman
Published by She Writes Press ISBN 9781631522338
Trade paperback, $16.95, 303 pages

I volunteer at the Book Cellar, a used bookstore located in the basement of the Webster Library on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. The Webster Library is one of the original Carnegie libraries, built in 1905.

Andrew Carnegie gave money to build nearly 1700 libraries across the country, many in small towns like the town of New Hope, Kansas, the setting for Romalyn Tilghman's novel To The Stars Through Difficulties. 

The novel opens with a newspaper clipping of a an EF-5 tornado that destroyed the entire town of nearby Prairie Hill, where the only thing left standing was one wall of the old Carnegie Library. The story is told through the eyes of three women- Gayle, a woman who lost her home in the tornado, Angelina, who is writing her PhD thesis on Carnegie libraries, and Traci, an artist from New York who relocates to New Hope for the promise of a job teaching at an art center, formerly a Carnegie library in New Hope. (I did not realize that many small town libraries were turned into media/arts centers in the 1970s.)

Angelina's grandmother lived in New Hope and she played a major role in procuring money from Andrew Carnegie to build a library there. Some of the most interesting sections of the book tell the story of how the women in the town banded together to raise the necessary funds to get the grant.

Those women would let nothing stand in their way in their determination to get a library for their town, not their husbands, and in Angelina's grandmother's case, not the expectations of what a woman is capable of doing or the opinions of others as to how to accomplish that.

Angelina needs this trip to complete her thesis. The family print shop she ran with her late father is about to close, her mother is not supportive of her goal, and it has taken her too long to get this far academically.

Traci is a fish out of water in New Hope. She is a young woman from a big city, and she has nothing to lose. Her new job is tenuous, and depends on the town to raise funds for her salary. She finds it hard to relate to the women in this town, and the troubled teens she is charged with teaching challenge her in many ways.

To The Stars Through Difficulties is the motto of the state of Kansas, and it is the perfect title for this wonderful book. It is about women banding together to create something lasting, something that will better their communtity and the people who live there. It is a story about women empowering themselves.

We see how much Angelina's grandmother's generation and the women of today have in common. They set a goal and come hell or high water, it was going to be achieved. I enjoyed seeing how supportive the women were of each other, even while being wary of each other at times.

The characters are so realistic, and those who long for small town living will truly appreciate To The Stars Through Difficulties. When I was a child, I loved The Little House On The Prairie books, and this felt like a modern, grown-up version of the those books. I got the same warm feelings reading To The Stars Through Difficulties.

I highly recommend To The Stars Through Difficulties.

Breathe by Kelly Kittel

Breathe by Kelly Kittel
Published by She Writes Press ISBN 978-1-938314-78-0
Trade paperback, $18.95, 369 pages

Kelly Kittel's book, Breathe, is subtitled A Memoir of Motherhood, Grief and Family Conflict, so you know before beginning it that you'd better have the tissues ready.

Kelly always wanted to have a big family. She and her husband Andy have three young children, Hannah, Christiana and Micah, when she happily discovers that she is pregnant with their fourth child. They rent a home from Andy's older sister Cody and her husband, who live across the street from them.

Andy is the youngest of eight children, and his siblings and parents are never shy about telling Andy and Kelly how to live their lives. They are particularly adamant in telling Andy that four children are enough and encourage him to get a vasectomy, even if he has to go behind Kelly's back to do it.

Kelly's East Coast, Mayflower ancestor family is very different from Andy's raucous, emotional family, and anyone who is married may understand how difficult it can be learning to get along with people so dissimilar from your own family.

Baby Noah is born, and all is well. Kelly and Andy are happy with their family, though Cody's constant need to control everyone around her is grating on Kelly. Cody's teenage daughters' disrespectful attitude towards them is also a problem.

While attending a family reunion at Andy's parents, Cody's daughter Cally accidentally runs over 15 month-old Noah and he has a traumatic brain injury. He is helicoptered to a nearby hospital, but when Andy and Kelly arrive, they are told that Noah was being kept alive with machines only long enough for them to say goodbye.

Noah's death devastates the family. Kelly and Andy wait for an apology from Cally, but it never comes.   They try to get Cally and Cody to come with them to counseling to try and get through it, but Cody refuses. Kelly asks Cody to please sell the Tahoe that ran over her son because it pains her to see it sitting in the driveway across the street, but Cody refuses.

Kelly finds herself pregnant again and hopes that new life with bring the family some joy. While her first four pregnancies were uneventful, she has problems with her blood pressure this time and has to see a specialist.

Kelly chose a women's practice that has many midwives on staff, and she seems to see a different one every time. Her blood pressure is frequently measured, and she sees the doctor or midwife at least once a week, and even every day near the end when she is put on bed rest.

There comes a time when Kelly is at the hospital and has to decide whether to induce labor or wait a little longer to allow the baby's lungs to grow more mature. She is not given all the information she needs and decides to wait.

That decision cost her baby Jonah his life. Kelly has a placental abruption and Jonah dies in utero. Kelly and Andy have to tell their young children that they have once again lost a brother, and this second death in nine months is almost more than they can take.

Andy's family seems to want to blame Kelly for Jonah and Noah's deaths. They treat her horribly, and eventually Kelly convinces Andy to move away from his family in Oregon across the country to Rhode Island where her family lives.

Kelly becomes pregnant again, and is shocked when her new doctor reviews her previous medical history and tells her that Jonah never should have died. Her doctors and the hospital were negligent. Kelly and Andy decide to sue the doctor.

This decision causes a permanent rift in Andy's family, with his sisters siding with the negligent doctor.  This floors Andy and Kelly. The courtroom scenes are as riveting as any John Grisham novel, but all this is true.

Cody actually testifies for the defense, and it is so hard to believe that anyone could do that to their own flesh and blood. Her behavior is appalling. Cody's daughters, including Cally, sit daily in the courtroom, taunting Andy and Kelly with their smirks and looks and reporting back to Cody what was happening in the courtroom.

Kelly suffers many more miscarriages, and I don't know where she has the faith to keep trying. I could never do that. Reading Breathe I was struck by Andy and Kelly's strength, by what loving, wonderful parents they are to their children and how deeply committed they are to their family. The fact that they were abandoned by Andy's family makes that hurt so much more.

I took away a few important things from Kelly's book; one is the importance of doing your research when it comes to choosing doctors and understanding your medical options. You cannot rely only on what your doctor tells you.

The other is that if you are in a toxic relationship, no matter who it is with, you must get out of it. You cannot change other people, you can only change your reaction. Don't let unhappy people take you down with them.

Breathe is such an incredible story, if you told me it was fiction I would say you had quite an imagination. The fact that this is all true makes it all the more remarkable. That Kelly Kittel lived through it is amazing, the fact that she lived it all over again writing a book about it is astonishing.

rating 4 of 5
Kelly Kittel's website is here.

Thanks to TLC Tours for putting me on Kelly Kittel's tour. The rest of the stops are here.

Kelly Kittel’s TLC Book Tours TOUR STOPS:

Monday, June 2nd:  Bookish Ardour

Wednesday, June 4th:  Bound By Words

Thursday, June 5th:  Bookchickdi

Monday, June 9th:  Peeking Between the Pages

Wednesday, June 11th:  Deckled Edge Books

Thursday, June 12th:  Kritter’s Ramblings

Monday, June 16th:  Tiffany’s Bookshelf

Wednesday, June 18th:  Perks of Being a JAP

Thursday, June 19th:  Svetlana’s Reads and Views

Monday, June 23rd:  Patricia’s Wisdom

Tuesday, June 24th:  Stitch Read Cook – author guest post “A Day in the Life”

Wednesday, June 25th:  Simple Inspiration